How many times have you not completed a mission you set out to achieve? I’ve done it more times than I care to admit. It’s very humbling. But, I’m going to share a few. Here’s a list of my attempts at business that have since closed:

• Consulting company for small churches
• Coffee roasting company
• Church planting pastor
• Real Estate Investor

Those are just the ice breaker conversations. I could go on to share the dozens of things within those and other efforts that failed. It could be easy to look back and say tell myself I’m not capable of success. But, not succeeding is not the same as not being capable.

Despite the voices in your head telling you you’re not enough, you are enough. I love what Jon Acuff says in his book Start: “Simply put, if you don’t kill your voices, they will kill you.”

What if you discover that you just haven’t gone after the thing you’re supposed to become great at? Here’s another quote from Acuff’s book: “I’m not a find of ‘finding your purpose.’ I’m a fan of ‘living your purpose.'” Check out Jon’s brief thoughts on purpose and resilience below.

Living Your Purpose

If you’re not living your purpose you likely haven’t found a place that fits. We’ve all been there. I’ve tried. So, have you. We’ve struggled, lost our satisfaction, and started looking for greener grass.

What would happen if we discover why we are here? Could our lives be better if we live that out even in our present role? Could living with purpose bring satisfaction and fulfillment? What if that uncovers new opportunities for us to thrive in our careers because we are living in purpose? By the way, this post won’t answer all the how-tos about this topic. But, I would highly recommend Acuff’s book to explore this further.

Your Missing Puzzle

You are a piece of the puzzle. There are parts that curve in. There are parts that stick out. The shape of each of those curves and points need to fit in the right place to complete the puzzle. You can’t cram a piece that’s the wrong shape and size into another puzzle.

What if there’s a puzzle out there that is almost completed and you’re the last piece they’re looking for? You are what will complete their picture and their goal. Your unique piece is the right shape, the right size, with the right image to bring about their success and fulfillment.

I can’t promise you that the next opportunity you explore will be the completed puzzle you’ve been looking for. But, I am 100% confident that you won’t feel like you complete fit until you are living in your purpose instead of trying to find a job to fulfill your purpose.

Where to Look

Instead of going after a new job to find your purpose it’s time to go inward. Spend some time considering you are, what you’re uniquely equipped to do, and who you can serve in doing that. Then put those realizations into effect so you can start experiencing the satisfaction of those experiences.

Your adventure in self-discovering may start with having just one or two opportunities a day. But, look for the chance to do it at work, in your neighborhood, or with a non-profit. When you start to experience the satisfaction you may also uncover new opportunities where you can put your purpose into effect. Who knows? You might even start likely the job you have when you deploy the purpose within that context.

If you need some encouragement to get going again check out my other blog posts. If you specifically need help figuring out how to get a good start each morning to check out my article on Getting Unstuck with Your Morning Routine.

The post When You’re a Piece Missing Its Puzzle – Feeling Purposeless first appeared on Circle of 5 Coaching.

In the final week of the MLB Regular Season in 2023, the Texas Rangers were leading Boston Red Sox in the 7th inning.  The pitcher threw the exact pitch he wanted.  It was a perfect strike.  But, the umpire disagreed.  He called it a ball.  The batter gets on base and the go-ahead run is now at 1st.  Rangers Manager Bruce Bochy was livid.  He yells at the umpire from the dugout.  The umpire yells back and finally says, “Stop it! Enough!”  Literally less than two seconds later, the umpire ejects Bochy from the game.

This is where it gets interesting.  Bochy, 68 years old, proceeds to work his way out of the dugout–after having been ejected–to go face to face with the second year umpire.  The commentator says, “Now Boch is going to come get a pound of flesh for this one.  When you pay for it you might as well take it with you.”  Here’s the clip if you’re interested in seeing how it played out. Bochy’s time in the dugout came to a close.  The Rangers went on to lose the game. Bochy absolutely had great clarity about the umpire’s poor umping skills.

We often gain great clarity when things are coming to an end. Along with that clarity comes a boldness.  But, that’ may need to wait for another blog post.

A child is graduating, there’s a new-found sense for a parent around what is important for their child to know before leaving home.  Someone quitting their job finds new clarity (and boldness) and expresses their views about their colleagues or bosses; comments they likely would never have made a few days prior.   A family has outgrown a home, they need to move and have a new clarity around what they want from the next home.  There’s clarity in times of transition. 

A Terminal Diagnosis
In 2014 my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  The diagnosis was grim.  He was given approximately 6 months to live.  He passed just weeks before that projected timeline.

Those final 5+ months were some of the most inspiring months I remember with my dad.  He attempted chemo and the results were not promising. He chose to pursue quality of life over quantity of life.  At this point, he had no doubt that his days were numbered.  He also had no need to hold back.  He knew that if he was ever going to share something he needed to do it in these days. His I love yous, his shared opinions, and his statements about his personal faith had new strength unlike any other season in my lifetime. I had clarity that he wasn’t going to hold back anything. It was beautiful!

Most of us want clarity.  But, none of us want to go through a crisis to get it.

While we can’t truly simulate such a scenario to produce the same result, we can take actions to create transitions.  

A Threat to Clarity
We have routines and rhythms and relationships that are set.  Disrupting them seems a threat to our comfort–despite our dissatisfaction.  As long as everything stays the same and is predictable, then nothing needs to change.   But, sometimes we need a change because familiarity often restricts our clarity.

There are things in your life that are familiar but not helpful.  They’re keeping you stuck. They are known entities that keep you feeling safe.  But, at the same time, these very things are tying you down and keeping you from thriving.  

Starting New Chapters
What in your life needs to be brought to an end?  Is there something that you need to turn the page to a new chapter so you can get clarity? Is there a transition you can create to help gain clarity? Perhaps it is a job.  It may be a relationship.  It may be a volunteer role.  What can you shift yourself away from to create perspective that brings clarity?

In the examples I mentioned earlier we see good and challenging things coming to a close.  A child leaving can be good or bad, but it brings clarity to what you want them to know.  A job change may be good or bad, but it brings clarity to what you believe about the environment you want to work in. Moving from a home may be for good reasons or challenging reasons, but it brings clarity to what you want in your next home or neighborhood.

Take Action
When you are in transition you tend to get greater clarity.  Is there a transition you need to make to get greater clarity?  Spend some time contemplating that. Journaling your thoughts. Then create a plan of action to stop something in pursuit of greater clarity.

You’ve got this.  Here’s to new starts and greater clarity.

HTC

The post Gaining Clarity and Peace of Mind (without a Crisis) first appeared on Circle of 5 Coaching.

The Three G’s to Start Your Day

It’s never a good day for it.  It inevitably happens when you are already feeling rushed.  You get ready, load your car, hop in the driver’s seat to start it.  Then, nothing.  No turnover. You’re stuck until you can get the car jumped or the battery replaced.

You likely know that experience.  Most people have had it at some point in their adult life.  But, for many of us, the “stuckness” began even before we got into the car.  It began when the alarm went off…for the second or third time.

Does the word “morning” create a strong feeling in you?  For some people the feeling is excitement.  They have a clear routine that’s working.  They love the calm before the storm of life.  They get things done.

For some it is a feeling of dread.  They anticipate not having energy.  The thought of getting out of bed sounds like work and most definitely doesn’t sound like something to look forward too.

I’ve tried a number of routines in my career.  I’ve read the books on getting up at 5 AM.  That model hasn’t really worked for me–especially since having teenagers that stay up later and those late hours are when we connect.  I’ve made New Year resolutions.  I’ve tried working out first thing in the morning.   I’ve headed to the office before everyone else, trying to get ready to take on the day.   I’ve tried huge structure and little structure.  But, after daylight savings time or a few bad nights of sleep (did I mention I have four children) the routine can easily get sabotaged.  

When my new commitment to the new routine starts fading the guilt and shame kick in. Around this time, I likely just give up on the routine with confidence that the new routine was the wrong one for me. Giving up these routines has never resulted in getting more out of my day.

I’m about to share with you a brief formula that can help you renew your commitment to your mornings.  Whether you have 10 minutes or an hour to devote to starting your day with some focus, you can use this routine. I am confident that when you use it, your day has a much higher likelihood of being better.

The formula is called “The Three G’s.”  Here’s what it looks like:

  Gratitude + Growth + Goals = Good Start

Grab a journal.  Be ready to start when you’re finished reading this. Let’s break it down.

The #1 G:  Gratitude
The first G to journal about is Gratitude.  Write the headline “Gratitude.”  Then, put the numbers 1, 2, and 3 beneath it.  Enter three things from the past 24 hours that you are grateful for.  These things may be opportunities, relationships, victories, spiritual experiences, connections, accomplishments in your discipline, or anything you want to express gratitude for today.

This exercise can happen in as short as 2-3 minutes or you can really contemplate it and spend 10-15 minutes and pick the top three things among the many you consider.  Just orient yourself towards noticing the things you can be grateful for.  This focus on gratitude helps you appreciate the past day as well as the day to come.

The #2 G:  Growth
Next in your journal write the headline of “Growth” followed be 1,2, and 3.   Identify and fill in the spaces with areas you recognize growth in your life over the past 24 hours. Again, you could spend as little as 2 or 3 minutes on this or as long as you want.

I’ve been doing this exercise with my 11-year old for several weeks.  It started out as a struggle for him.  As we’ve helped him see success in his own growth, he’s starting to identify 2 or 3 things pretty quickly.  His definition of growth has changed and he sees it a lot more than he did before we started this.  It’s amazing even on the rough days he’s finding areas of growth in his life.

Look for growth wherever you can spot it.  It may be in your professional, spiritual, emotional, relational, financial, intellectual, or any area of your life.  Often we get focused on one slice of our life like our career.  Our careers can have hard days but our life can still be showing signs of growth.  We need to recognize these areas of growth.  

One of my areas of growth recently was around my emotional volatility on the disc golf course. It’s one thing to throw one bad shot.  But, I’ve been known to throw three, four, or five bad shots in a row.  While the bad shots still happen, my emotional range has narrowed because I’m more emotionally healthy these days.  I’ve calmed down and learned to enjoy the game and the time with my boys.

Think of three areas in your life where you’ve grown in the last 24 hours.  This daily practice can help you get more out of your day and remind you that you are still developing.

The #3 G:  Goals
The next area to journal about is your three (3) Goals for today.  Write “Goals” as your heading and then put in your 1, 2, and 3.  

The goals do not have to be monumental in nature.  They should be things you are committed to accomplishing before you conclude this day.  If you accomplish these three things your day will be a success regardless of what else happens.

I had a recent goal of scheduling a date with my daughter.  On that same day I committed to updating contracts for a client and writing two articles for an upcoming issue of my newsletter.  (Sign up here if you want to be a part of The Neighborhood: An Encouraging Email.)  Those were the highest priorities for that day.  I still had other responsibilities.  But, those three goals were my non-negotiables for the day.

Your goals set your day’s priorities.  This isn’t your checklist for the day.  But, these are the big rocks you’ll build your day around.  Set your three goals and then go knock them out.

Conclusion
When you are feeling stuck, this routine may help to jump start your day.  It doesn’t mean the battery in your car will work.  But, it does mean that your emotional wellness will get off to a great start.  Try using “The Three G’s” method of journaling to start your day.  Once you try it, string a few days together with this practice and see how it impacts your mindset.  When you discover the impact it has set a goal to do this at least 5 or 6 days a week.

The post Getting Unstuck with Your Morning Routine first appeared on Circle of 5 Coaching.