I recently attended an event called Leadership Refresh. It’s a group of leaders that meets once a month at a local church to talk about leadership ideas. The vehicle used is to share a teaching from a world-class leader and then invest in some conversations around the table around the topic discussed in the teaching. It’s a simple, but dynamic engagement that is impactful.

At this particular session we watched Patrick Lencioni’s presentation from The UnConference on his topic “Are you an ideal team player?” If you want to watch the full 1-hour plus presentation I’ve embedded it below. (But, don’t quit reading this article!!!)

Lencioni’s simple premise is that we need to be players that are Hungry, Humble, and Smart (emotionally intelligent). I’ll let him explain the details in his video. You absolutely need professional colleagues that are hungry, humble, and smart. But, you also need an inner circle of people that have these characteristics, too. One of the great barriers to getting this people in your inner circle is you. If you want to attract people with these characteristics you have to be a person with them.

Empowering Your Coaches Around You

As I was contemplating this post I looked up his presentation and ended up in a TED Talk Lencioni did. This is an abbreviated version of the talk from the UnConference. But, it captures the essence of his earlier presentation well.

At the end of this version, however, he said something that really caught my attention. I’ve quoted Lencioni below. But, for those who prefer to watch or listen, here’s the link at the point in his teaching I’m discussing. Remember, don’t leave after watching this!!!

Lencioni says:

That last part really stands out to me. We need to have people around us that love us enough to speak truth into our lives. Yet, knowing this and having it are two different realities.

Helping people discover how to build their community to include the right people around them is my mission. Having people around you isn’t the goal. Having the right people around you is the goal. You need people who will love you and help you thrive. I call this your Circle of 5.

Help Finding Your People

Do you have your people? Do you need to up your people game–your circle of 5? If you’re in a place where you need some help because you recognized you don’t have the right people around you then please reach out. You are exactly who I love to work with. Perhaps you can relate to Kelly in this story. She has a crowd of people around her, but she doesn’t feel she has the people investing into her.

If you’re ready to take action, let’s do a free consult call (email me here). Let’s explore what can happen in your life to help you build a community around you that coaches you up, champions your best, and loves you.

The post Humble, Hungry, and Smart – Do you need new friends? first appeared on Circle of 5 Coaching.

I’ve become a social scientist; perhaps it’s better said that I’m a social agronomist. What is an agronomist? It’s a person that studies agriculture–they evaluate soil conditions and seed issues. They are sometimes called the “crop doctor.”

I do something similar except my medium isn’t dirt and seeds, it’s community and individuals. I love to observe how people get planted into a community and why they flourish or fail to do so. 

What I’ve come to realize is that, in the same way a seed and the soil need to be healthy to thrive, a person AND their community need to be healthy for the person to thrive.  You can’t have one or the other and expect consistent positive results.  To be fruitful you need a healthy self and a healthy community.

For the past several months I’ve been discussing building your inner circle. There are dozens and maybe even hundreds of fascinating conversations along the way. What I’ve realized over these discussions is that most of us are intimidated by building our Circle of 5 because we have not yet become healthy ourselves.  The thought of going deeper in meaningful relationships sounds appealing until you realize the vulnerability that comes with it.

Kelly and I had a great discussion around this topic. Kelly is thriving in her industry.  She’s grown in her influence within her organization.  She has many people around her that love working with her and love her.  But, as much as she desires to have deeper relationships she is restricted by the authority dynamic at play.  Kelly is an amazing person that has so much to offer.  But, she is struggling to find a community that she can contribute to as well as receive contribution from.

Leaders often find themselves in this spot.  We get so busy leading that we don’t have time to be with people we aren’t in charge of or subordinate to.  Many leaders don’t take time to have deep relationships with equals who are there for us.  We didn’t mean to get to that spot.  It just happened over time.  And now, our work consumes so much of our attention we don’t even know where to find people that we can connect with as equals.

Kelly is a great person and a great leader.  But, she has lost herself in her role.  She’s become unhealthy in her relationships.  Before Kelly can connect in a meaningful way with relationships where she can contribute to and receive contributions, she needs to get a new perspective on her own sense of self.  She needs to make sure the seed she is planting into a community is healthy.  Once it is, there is nothing that can hold her back from achieving the life she wants to live.

You can probably relate to Kelly.  You know what it’s like to have people around you but not the people you can go deep with.

It’s time to do the work. It’s time to focus. It’s time to be real with how you show up, how you see the people around you, and what you tolerate within those you welcome into your community. It’s time to experience a greater life. It starts with showing up in our best way.

Keep following along on my blog for more resources on building a healthier you and a healthier community around you.

OPPORTUNITY:  If you’re ready to do the work and dig deeper let’s collaborate together in a four-week mastermind.  You’ll join like-minded people who are ready to get honest with themselves.  They long to go deeper and do the work to prepare themselves to show up to their community well.  

You can be a part of a healthy community.  It begins by making a commitment to yourself to do the work.  Once you’ve committed, our Mastermind group will allow you to have healthy conversations with others pursuing the same goal–become ready to be planted into a great community where you can grow and flourish.

Next week I’m offering a 100% off code to members of our Circle of 5 Coaching.  This is actually a $250 discount code.  It will get you into the conversation for $0!  I’m only making a handful of these available.  So, if you’re interested, like or Circle of 5 Coaching Facebook Page  and watch for that discount code being released within the next few days.  (Real Estate Professionals please like our or Real Estate Professional Page).  
If you’re interested in having a guide walk you through a 4-week journey to help you Bring the Best You to Your Community, and you want to skip the promo and just support the coaching cause, then check out this opportunity to join a 4-week Mastermind group in October.

The post The Social Agronomist first appeared on Circle of 5 Coaching.

Hope is the most important characteristic you must demand of yourself and anyone in your community.  In fact, if you are struggling to have hope I encourage you to work through that before you even build your own Circle of 5.

Hope is not tied to your circumstance.  It’s not defined by money or possessions.  It’s tied to a belief in what your future holds.

My faith provides me with a lot of hope.  I believe in Heaven and eternal life.  That helps me be rooted in the chaos that life brings in various seasons.  Whether you have a religious faith or not, you have to place  hope in something. You have to surround yourselves with people who have hope in something, as well.

When you, or someone you let into your Circle of 5 does not have hope you cannot show up in a strong way.  You cannot effectively build your best life or the lives of the other people in your Circle.

Being full of hope doesn’t mean that every day is a good day.  In fact, even people of hope go through hard seasons.  But, it means you have a conviction that believes you have more life to live and dreams to achieve than the current circumstance offers.

When you let people without hope into your inner circle it becomes harder to look to your hope and easier to dwelling on the troubles of life (queue social media warning here). How do you discern hope in yourself or the people around you?  The best way is to listen.

People without hope tend to talk about their past more than their future.  They talk about their frustrations more than their opportunities.  They blame others for their circumstance more than taking responsibility for themselves.  People without hope tend to live in a negative and victim mindset 

(NOTE:  If you have been a victim of something, your best way to free yourself is with a trained counselor. A good counselor can help you see the things that hold you back and guide you through the process required to break free from the injustice that happened.  It takes a lot of work.  But, it is necessary to regain that true hope in your life.)

You’ll know when you encounter a person of hope.  They offer encouragement more than criticism.  They speak of their future more than their past.  When they discuss their past, it is constructive and they are not tied to it–they’re better for it.  They are clear that life is bringing more opportunities and they are taking action to get there.

You need to be a person of hope in order to build a Circle of 5 with people of hope.  If you’re struggling with having hope please reach out to me.  Let me know where you’re at. Perhaps you’ll be interested in our new community we will be launching soon to help prepare people to build their Circle of 5.  We can build a team together that will have the right mood, attitudes, grooves for building the momentum that comes from a community of hope.

The post Do Not Let Hopeless People In first appeared on Circle of 5 Coaching.

Talking about community seems so easy. What’s hard is getting clear on what type of community you desire. In this video, Ryan discusses the Levels of Community a Circle of 5 might explore. This is a high-level view that brings some shape to the types of community that can be pursued, as well as clarification as to which community you may want to develop around yourself.

The post Levels of Community first appeared on Circle of 5 Coaching.

Perhaps you had no idea you needed Circle of 5. What does that even mean? Let’s explore that and have some spontaneous fun. (See Video from a recent FB Live.)

The post Getting there with Your Who first appeared on Circle of 5 Coaching.

I’m constantly growing, relearning, and re-orienting myself to the new understandings I get. We do it from childhood as we learn to crawl. We should do it throughout life.

In this study of building communities, I learn from many different sources (our community, reading, podcasts, etc.). I’m looking at re-illustrating the Levels of Community Triangle. I can’t wait to refine it and see your feedback on this.

The first change is to the community level. I’m shifting the language from Community to Connection.

My hot take: We can have community all around us and never feel connection.

Would you agree or disagree with that statement?

The post Alone in a Crowd…Ever Feel That? first appeared on Circle of 5 Coaching.