I’ve become a social scientist; perhaps it’s better said that I’m a social agronomist. What is an agronomist? It’s a person that studies agriculture–they evaluate soil conditions and seed issues. They are sometimes called the “crop doctor.”
I do something similar except my medium isn’t dirt and seeds, it’s community and individuals. I love to observe how people get planted into a community and why they flourish or fail to do so.
What I’ve come to realize is that, in the same way a seed and the soil need to be healthy to thrive, a person AND their community need to be healthy for the person to thrive. You can’t have one or the other and expect consistent positive results. To be fruitful you need a healthy self and a healthy community.
For the past several months I’ve been discussing building your inner circle. There are dozens and maybe even hundreds of fascinating conversations along the way. What I’ve realized over these discussions is that most of us are intimidated by building our Circle of 5 because we have not yet become healthy ourselves. The thought of going deeper in meaningful relationships sounds appealing until you realize the vulnerability that comes with it.
Kelly and I had a great discussion around this topic. Kelly is thriving in her industry. She’s grown in her influence within her organization. She has many people around her that love working with her and love her. But, as much as she desires to have deeper relationships she is restricted by the authority dynamic at play. Kelly is an amazing person that has so much to offer. But, she is struggling to find a community that she can contribute to as well as receive contribution from.
Leaders often find themselves in this spot. We get so busy leading that we don’t have time to be with people we aren’t in charge of or subordinate to. Many leaders don’t take time to have deep relationships with equals who are there for us. We didn’t mean to get to that spot. It just happened over time. And now, our work consumes so much of our attention we don’t even know where to find people that we can connect with as equals.
Kelly is a great person and a great leader. But, she has lost herself in her role. She’s become unhealthy in her relationships. Before Kelly can connect in a meaningful way with relationships where she can contribute to and receive contributions, she needs to get a new perspective on her own sense of self. She needs to make sure the seed she is planting into a community is healthy. Once it is, there is nothing that can hold her back from achieving the life she wants to live.
You can probably relate to Kelly. You know what it’s like to have people around you but not the people you can go deep with.
It’s time to do the work. It’s time to focus. It’s time to be real with how you show up, how you see the people around you, and what you tolerate within those you welcome into your community. It’s time to experience a greater life. It starts with showing up in our best way.
Keep following along on my blog for more resources on building a healthier you and a healthier community around you.
OPPORTUNITY: If you’re ready to do the work and dig deeper let’s collaborate together in a four-week mastermind. You’ll join like-minded people who are ready to get honest with themselves. They long to go deeper and do the work to prepare themselves to show up to their community well.
You can be a part of a healthy community. It begins by making a commitment to yourself to do the work. Once you’ve committed, our Mastermind group will allow you to have healthy conversations with others pursuing the same goal–become ready to be planted into a great community where you can grow and flourish.
Next week I’m offering a 100% off code to members of our Circle of 5 Coaching. This is actually a $250 discount code. It will get you into the conversation for $0! I’m only making a handful of these available. So, if you’re interested, like or Circle of 5 Coaching Facebook Page and watch for that discount code being released within the next few days. (Real Estate Professionals please like our or Real Estate Professional Page).
If you’re interested in having a guide walk you through a 4-week journey to help you Bring the Best You to Your Community, and you want to skip the promo and just support the coaching cause, then check out this opportunity to join a 4-week Mastermind group in October.
