Gaining Clarity and Peace of Mind (without a Crisis)

In the final week of the MLB Regular Season in 2023, the Texas Rangers were leading Boston Red Sox in the 7th inning.  The pitcher threw the exact pitch he wanted.  It was a perfect strike.  But, the umpire disagreed.  He called it a ball.  The batter gets on base and the go-ahead run is now at 1st.  Rangers Manager Bruce Bochy was livid.  He yells at the umpire from the dugout.  The umpire yells back and finally says, “Stop it! Enough!”  Literally less than two seconds later, the umpire ejects Bochy from the game.

This is where it gets interesting.  Bochy, 68 years old, proceeds to work his way out of the dugout–after having been ejected–to go face to face with the second year umpire.  The commentator says, “Now Boch is going to come get a pound of flesh for this one.  When you pay for it you might as well take it with you.”  Here’s the clip if you’re interested in seeing how it played out. Bochy’s time in the dugout came to a close.  The Rangers went on to lose the game. Bochy absolutely had great clarity about the umpire’s poor umping skills.

We often gain great clarity when things are coming to an end. Along with that clarity comes a boldness.  But, that’ may need to wait for another blog post.

A child is graduating, there’s a new-found sense for a parent around what is important for their child to know before leaving home.  Someone quitting their job finds new clarity (and boldness) and expresses their views about their colleagues or bosses; comments they likely would never have made a few days prior.   A family has outgrown a home, they need to move and have a new clarity around what they want from the next home.  There’s clarity in times of transition. 

A Terminal Diagnosis
In 2014 my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.  The diagnosis was grim.  He was given approximately 6 months to live.  He passed just weeks before that projected timeline.

Those final 5+ months were some of the most inspiring months I remember with my dad.  He attempted chemo and the results were not promising. He chose to pursue quality of life over quantity of life.  At this point, he had no doubt that his days were numbered.  He also had no need to hold back.  He knew that if he was ever going to share something he needed to do it in these days. His I love yous, his shared opinions, and his statements about his personal faith had new strength unlike any other season in my lifetime. I had clarity that he wasn’t going to hold back anything. It was beautiful!

Most of us want clarity.  But, none of us want to go through a crisis to get it.

While we can’t truly simulate such a scenario to produce the same result, we can take actions to create transitions.  

A Threat to Clarity
We have routines and rhythms and relationships that are set.  Disrupting them seems a threat to our comfort–despite our dissatisfaction.  As long as everything stays the same and is predictable, then nothing needs to change.   But, sometimes we need a change because familiarity often restricts our clarity.

There are things in your life that are familiar but not helpful.  They’re keeping you stuck. They are known entities that keep you feeling safe.  But, at the same time, these very things are tying you down and keeping you from thriving.  

Starting New Chapters
What in your life needs to be brought to an end?  Is there something that you need to turn the page to a new chapter so you can get clarity? Is there a transition you can create to help gain clarity? Perhaps it is a job.  It may be a relationship.  It may be a volunteer role.  What can you shift yourself away from to create perspective that brings clarity?

In the examples I mentioned earlier we see good and challenging things coming to a close.  A child leaving can be good or bad, but it brings clarity to what you want them to know.  A job change may be good or bad, but it brings clarity to what you believe about the environment you want to work in. Moving from a home may be for good reasons or challenging reasons, but it brings clarity to what you want in your next home or neighborhood.

Take Action
When you are in transition you tend to get greater clarity.  Is there a transition you need to make to get greater clarity?  Spend some time contemplating that. Journaling your thoughts. Then create a plan of action to stop something in pursuit of greater clarity.

You’ve got this.  Here’s to new starts and greater clarity.

HTC

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